Jeremy-
You did very well in your paper, but there were a few main places that could use improvement. I would include a conclusion to wrap up your paper. In your main body paragraphs, you include many interesting points that have a lot of supporting details, but in one paragraph that I commented on needs a stronger description of the arts. As you write, you bring up music as an art, but in the sentence before that it would help to add a full definition of art and list a few more things that you include as an art. The quotes that you used in your paper were very supportive of your claim. Overall, I think your introduction paragraph does a very good job introducing what art means to you. The one thing that I would add into this paragraph is the essays we read in class. If you add at least one of these essays and authors, it will give an understanding of who the author is and where you found the quotes supporting your stand on art and science. This was very well written 🙂
You are on the right track. Your 150-word note has some wonderful specifics. I want to challenge you to continue to work on adding more comments about your peers’ ideas into your final peer review.