I received my first free draft back this semester in ENG 110 as I noticed that I needed to work on many local errors like punctuation, introducing quotes, and repetition of words. In the free draft of my essay, I started sentences with a quote without introducing it first. This is an example from my free draft.
As I wrote my final draft, I fixed all of my quote introductions. This is an example of another quote that I included in the final draft of my first paper because I did not use the quote above in my final draft. In this quote, I addressed that it was Khullar so the readers knew it was his work.
Another local revision that I needed to focus on was repeating words. In the second paragraph of my first draft, I start many sentences in a row with I believe, which is very repetitive. In my final draft, I broke away from that habit and added supporting sentences in between that connect my beliefs to one another and the essays we read. Lastly, there were a few places in my essay when I did not add a comma when needed. Throughout the semester, I worked on introducing my quotes, adding the correct punctuation, and not repeating myself when I start sentences in each of my essays. I believe it has made a big impact on clarity in my papers because the reader can distinguish who is saying the information, when to pause in a sentence, and understand the connection between my thoughts. Local revisions may be minor, but they still have a big impact on the paper overall.
When I reread my essay and the comments on my first free draft, I noticed that there was a global error and my paragraphs wandered off topic towards the end. I needed to support my paragraphs with better claims to connect all of the information. In the last paragraph of the second page of my free draft, the paragraph starts to be repetitive in the last few sentences. As I finished my final draft, I added another point to the paragraph to strengthen my claim about the attitude and mindset of a fighter. I strengthened this argument by adding a personal story about my mom going through breast cancer. This strengthens the idea because it allows the reader to see her emotions and story throughout her journey. This shows that I was able to identify my error and work through to fix the paragraph.
